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Meyerowitz/Barrett Studio/Tuscany 5/17
sangha |ˈsäNG(ɡ)ə|
noun
the Buddhist community of monks, nuns,
novices, and laity.
Interesting word Sangha. A place to take
refuge along with the Buddha and the Dharma. Of course, I might ask, “A refuge
from what?” It could be the day to day, the repetitive grind of daily life, a
place to seek something greater, aspire to something more meaningful than
questions about the weather, It is a community, which by definition puts me in
the company of others; not just any others, but like minded others, who are
seeking something also. People who I can relate to and be sustained by in my
common desire to be happier. In the AA world it is called “the fellowship.”
So much of my time is
spent in quiet communion with myself. Here is the place where I have tried to
figure things out; at times thinking there is something wrong with me if I
can’t. Culturally, there have been countless efforts for me to develop a can do
attitude; some sort of resilience necessary to contend with life in the big
city. Asking for help…a sign of weakness, admitting I don’t know…the same. To
surrender with the admission that I do need help and that I truly don’t know is the first step towards the
wisdom I’ve been seeking. I might not even appreciate that I’m seeking this,
but the futility of my previous efforts to find a lasting happiness inevitably
leads me to a place that is often described as: sick and tired of being sick and tired or more simply…just unhappy.
With all the past habits so deeply engrained, it is going to require a whole
lot of heavy lifting to extricate myself from the safe, comfortable, familiar,
habitual life I’ve been leading. Change is not something I’ve found comfort in
and the fear of change is more than a bit daunting. Just what might this change
entail, actually be? To begin with it requires an ability to say I’m my our own
problem. It has always been more comfortable to blame others or circumstances for
my unhappiness, but the cause has never been anything other than myself.
Admission of this will be the first and perhaps the most crucial realization I
will make to begin the process of awakening, being reborn, reunited with myself,
reacquainted with the child like curiosity that was such a great teacher. Who
amongst us has the courage to say we are our own problem? Who amongst us will
have the willingness to look for the answers? Who amongst us will possess an
open-minded effort to begin the process of recovery from what is keeping us
from attaining true peace and happiness? Let each of us say, “I am.” Bingo and
the door opens. Not far perhaps, but far enough to allow a crack of light in
and a tiny glimpse of something other than what we’ve been used to seeing. What
does this crack of light reveal? What is it that we are getting a tiny glimpse
of? For all our efforts to dispel the truth of it, it is a power greater. I
have, for the first time in a very, very long time, seen and felt the stirrings
of hopefulness as realized through the admission of defeat. And, if I’ve been
defeated well enough (and the more defeated the better) I will reach for that
light as if for a life preserver and sense a small taste of gratitude that it
exists and I might not just keep sinking if I hold on. But hold on to what? A
power greater than myself is what. A power much greater than the little me,
myself and I. A power which, at a minimum, can best be described as We. We can
do this together. We are far better equipped to figure these things out if we
ask for help and are willing to say, “I don’t know.” A power greater need not
be some murky deity or a super human being, a god or a goddess with which we
have to come to believe in before proceeding.
This is a common
roadblock well worth taking a big detour around. Fortunately, there is a well
trodden path to follow here. It is called the Sangha in Buddhist teachings and the
fellowship in the world of Alcoholics Anonymous. But let us dispense with
labels and fully embrace the idea that what is at the heart of any of these
descriptions is…more human interaction. Not super human, which leads to debate
and sadly in most places in the world, conflict, but rather just the ordinary
beauty of being human and growing in a full appreciation that other humans have
achieved something called happy, joyous and free by following this path, this
way, this thing which cannot be named, but can be most accurately referred to
as a power greater than self. A power, which is in full view each and every day
as I watch those struggling alone vs. those asking for and receiving help.
The more I’m willing
to see this power at work, the more likely I will be to seek its benefits. How
could it be otherwise? With little more effort, it is not such a leap to turn myself
over to the care of it, while at the same time grow to understand that my
active participation is a necessary ingredient. I am not passively
surrendering, I’m actively reaching out with a hand that is asking for help.
And, whose hand am I reaching out
for? I’m reaching out to the hand of those
who have gone before me. To the hand of those who have more experience than I
do. To the hand of wisdom that has been where I’ve been and has achieved what I
want. Not what I need (although I do need it), but more importantly, what I
genuinely want. For if there is still a remnant of self will, a small amount of
doubt, a lack of willingness to turn a new corner, then I will undermine the
very thing I’ve been looking for all along and have failed miserably to find
and that is something called happiness. I must know intuitively that whatever
habits or old patterns of being I’ve employed haven’t worked, while at the same
time fully appreciating the need for change. And, this change I seek, because I
genuinely want it, can be found in the Sangha or fellowship of like-minded
souls, whom I can both relate to and revel in, due to our common goal. A goal,
which originally takes the form of an end to suffering, grows into a goal of
something called happy, joyous and free and fully blossoms into and culminates
with a life’s purpose of being of benefit to others. And, through the last of
these, I’ve seen the beauty of the circle which is continually strengthened,
first by protecting myself, next by protecting others and then experiencing the
true gift of doing so, which I happily find is: the more I benefit others, the
more I benefit myself. But, let me not forget that it starts with self-
protection. I’m ill equipped to be of service without firstly achieving a safe
harbor for myself. This harbor has a name. It is the Sangha/the fellowship.
Finding this place is where I will develop an enlightened state of being or
consciousness of the unity in all things; a great departure from where I’ve
come from, which was a place of separateness and isolation from others.
--LPC
2/13/17
